Thursday, January 1, 2009

Whatever - new laws

There are two things I traditionally do on New Year's Day. One is falling asleep enjoying watching the Rose Parade on TV, and the other is reading about all the ridiculous sensible new laws that come out each year. Here are a few of my favorites for 2009:

Alternative fuel: Allows drivers who run their vehicles on restaurant kitchen grease to skip most of a $300 fee previously required of anyone who hauled used vegetable oil or other grease away from an eatery.

Do people actually run their cars on KFC trans fats? Ewww.

Carpool lanes: Makes it a crime to forge, counterfeit, or falsify a clean air sticker issued by the DMV to certain low-emmission vehicles, allowing them to be driven in high occupancy carpool lanes.

So, just in case you thought you'd slap one on your Prius, beware. I bet these are the same people who had fake ID's for underage drinking. They're just faking "going green" now.

GPS devices: Allows a global positioning system device to be mounted on the windshield of a motor vehicle only in the 7-inch square in the lower corner farthest from the driver or in the 5-inch square in the lower corner nearest the driver.

Hmmm, let me think about it, do I want my GPS the farthest or closest from me? Maybe they can make cup holder laws too. If they put them far away, you can't reach them. I think this would cut back on accidents.

Human trafficking: Voids any provision of a contract that purports to allow a deduction from a person's wages for the cost of the person imigrating and being transported to the United States.

But, we will give them a driver's license and free medical care if they are illegal.

Meat Safety: Makes it a misdemeanor to buy, sell, or butcher sick and some disabled animals for human consumption.

So, if you own chickens, remember NOT to butcher the limping one. It's illegal.
I can just see the menus....free range chicken, disabled chicken....

And of course, everyone's favorite:

Text Messaging: Writing, sending, or reading a text-based communication while driving will be against the law for all drivers in California.

We needed a law for this?

Don't worry, ladies, applying make up is still perfectly legal. And as far as I know, you can paint your toenails, too.

Whatever.


Scroll down for my other New Year's Day blog...




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