Thursday, January 29, 2009

Whatever - the post office


So, today I had to go to the post office to mail something I sold on eBay. It is definitely not my favorite thing to do!

I got inside to see a line about 18 people deep and ONE window open out of eight. Typical, so I just took a deep breath and settled in for the wait. I could hear the drill of the clerk with each customer - is this perishable? is this hazardous? is this liquid? do you need delivery confirmation? do you need stamps? and on and on it went with every customer in front of me.

So, when I got to the counter, I cut right to the chase. I said, "This is a book. I want to send it plain media mail please."

Of course, you know what the next question will be.

"Is it liquid?" the clerk routinely asked.

"No, it's a book," I simply replied.

"Is it perishable?"

You have got to be kidding me. It's a BOOK! Is he even listening? Is this a person, or a robot?

I try one more time.

"No, it's not perishable. It's actually... a book."

You guessed what's next.

"Is it hazardous?"

Well, I guess you could find someone who might consider Drew's college Geography book hazardous (there was some mention of evolution, after all). But I decided I'd better be conservative.

"No, it's not."

"Do you need delivery confirmation, insurance.....blah blah blah...."

"No, thank you, nothing else."

Then, this one that really made me laugh.

"Do you need any stamps or passports today?"

Passports?

That's not exactly a "tack-on-the-end-of-your-order" item, in my opinion.

I was truly tempted to say, "Oh, yes, I just remembered! I'm going to Bora Bora today and I haven't gotten a passport yet. Yeah, go ahead and throw in a passport with that."

I really, really wanted to be a pop-off, but I didn't.

"No, thanks, I don't need any stamps...or any passports today."

Whatever.

4 comments:

Nancy said...

I just love your "whatevers" because I can so relate to all of them. Just ask my kiddos how much i LOVE to go to the post office. :-)

Suzanne DeShong said...

Whatever!!! That is too funny....you need to have a Saugus Drugs nearby....it's a beautiful post office experience every time!

Julie Gebhards said...

Thanks for the good laugh! Very well written... wish I was there to watch it all. Then again, maybe not! I probably would have been late to pick up the kids from school, then maybe would have been the one to pop off.

mom2six said...

Very funny. As I read the story to my eight year old daughter and reached the part where the clerk asked is it liquid she rolled her eyes and said, NO, it's a book. Sad when life becomes so routine you fail to listen to people. You were pretty clear to begin with. We enjoyed the laugh however!!