Not Me! Monday

I don't know why I don't do these Monday posts more often... it's not like there is a shortage of material!

This week, I most definitely:

~ did not get a call from Sirius radio. They did not ask me again to re-subscribe despite all of this. When I told them I was still getting their service, even though I canceled it months ago, they did not adamantly deny that. I did not then actually laugh at the salesperson and say, "okay, if you say so." That would be very pop-off-ish and everyone knows I am most definitely not a pop-off. (P.S. My husband did not have to admonish me from the other room to end the conversation either.) No, not me!

~did not cheerfully post of my newfound technique of making grilled pizza and then proceed to make it a second time and char it beyond recognition. I did not have to throw the pizza crust into the trash. I did not then have to dig through my freezer looking for another option for the crust, finally deciding to make french bread pizza out of a baguette (it was actually really good, though.) No, not me!

~did not just realize that your car's gas gauge has an arrow that points to what side of the car your gas tank is on. I have, of course, known this all my life. I have not ever rolled down my window to look and see where the gas tank is, depending on the car I'm driving. No, not me!

~did not go shopping at Target and roam around the Halloween candy section for way too much time. I did not pick up a bag of pumpkin spice Hershey's kisses and open the bag in the store, either, nor eat a generous handful of them in place of dinner. I would never eat anything before I actually paid for it, and I would never replace a meal with candy. No, not me! (P.S. In order not to let the checker think you are a total idiot, be sure to offer him/her a candy from the open bag. It diffuses the situation immediately.)

~did not see this at a cute boutique and decided I had to have it:

...and I most definitely have not been intoxicated all week from it. I know how dangerous it would be to have your house smell like chocolate, for crying out loud, and would never bring such an item to my house. I have not had to run to the candy dish for a piece of chocolate while it's burning, either. And, of course, I would never waste money buying candles (even cute ones in tins with Hershey's labels) because I make all my own. No, not me!

~did not just go into Drew's empty room daily for no reason. I am not missing my boy who moved out a month ago to go to college. I am not wishing he would be just a little homesick and just want to come hang out at home. No, not me!

~did not, on this very day 23 years ago, get asked by Rich to be his wife. I did not ever in my wildest dreams, know that would be the best "yes" I ever said. No, not me!

Not Me! Monday returns

Now that MckMama is back home with baby Stellan, and he is doing well, Not Me! Mondays have been reinstated!

It's time to reveal once again all the things I did did not do.

This past week, for example, I DID NOT:

-order a suit for Drew from Lands' End, with the pants in one color and the jacket in another. I would never be so careless as to not check my shopping cart carefully before pressing the 'place order' button. Nope, NOT ME!

-also order pillows for the front porch furniture in the WRONG size. Like I said above, I always check my shopping cart carefully before submitting my order. I DID NOT order 4 of one size (the right size) and 2 of another size (wrong). I DID NOT take said wrong pillows to the post office to return them and find out that due to their size, the return shipping cost would be $50 (UPS said the same). So, I DID NOT end up keeping pillows that are too large and making do even though they look ridiculous. Nope, NOT ME!

-decide to take up running at my age. I DID NOT happily jump on the treadmill at the gym excited for the challenge, only to find out that I could only run for 3 minutes without passing out. I DID NOT have to resign myself to intervals of walking for 5 minutes and running for only 3. Nope, NOT ME!

-receive a 25% off coupon from the Gap in the mail, 2 days after I went in and bought new summer clothes for the family. I DID NOT then have a mini-tantrum on the way back to the house from the mailbox that I got ripped off. Nope, NOT ME!

-stalk the blog of this adorable lady. I would never spend ridiculous amounts of time reading about people I don't even know. Nope, NOT ME!

-eat massive amounts of Couscous, just because MckMama posted the recipe. Nope, NOT ME!

-worst of all, I DID NOT graduate my first student from our home school. I DID NOT also foolishly agree that this child could live on campus, away from home and his mother, in his freshman year, either. Nope, NOT ME!

How about YOU? What did you NOT do this week? Use my comments section if you feel like confessing sharing!

It's NOT "Not me! Monday"

Not me! Mondays are on hold for the time being. The inventor of this little confession carnival, MckMama, has not been doing it the past few weeks, because her sweet baby is in very serious condition in the hospital. To read more about him, just click on my button on the right, Praying for Stellan. Out of respect for her situation, I have decided not to do it until she does again.

And, just so you know, I did NOT set up my cell phone to receive all of MckMama's tweets via text. That would be utterly ridiculous to receive text messages from someone I haven't even met. And besides, I do NOT need to hear the minute by minute of his condition. Nope, not me!

I can't help it. I love MckMama and Stellan, though they are utter and complete strangers and have no idea that I even exist.

Apparently I'm not alone though. Check out this news story on TV last night to see how Stellan's story is going global!

P.S. Keep scrolling down... a very special boy is having a birthday today....

"Not Me!" Monday

I got some good feedback last week with my first "Not me!" Monday. I glad you enjoy all the stupid and idiotic things I do. Don't worry, there will always be plenty of them each Monday. I won't let you down.

This week, I did not....

... go to Disneyland on Thursday even though I just went last Thursday. I would never be so self-indulgent and frivilous with my time. I am not the least bit fond of the Happiest Place on Earth, and I do not need to go there but maybe once a year. Nope, not me!

...wake up to the terrifying thought that I have been letting my daughter drive everywhere the past month without ever informing my insurance company that she was a new driver in the family. And, when I did not drop by the insurance office to give them her permit information, I did not mess up the form I was supposed to fill out three times, causing my agent to keep printing out new copies. Nope, not me!

...make myself a fresh, strong press-pot of coffee, pour myself a lovely cup, mix it with half & half and one raw sugar packet, and then proceed to add buttermilk when I decided it needed a bit more cream. I did not then dump the lovely cup of coffee down the drain. Nope, not me!

...get kind of bent out of shape when I arrived at Step Class and found that another woman had put her step right in the place I always put mine. I would never be that particular about "my" spot in the front row. I would not begrudgingly assemble my step in the back row instead. And, I would certainly not have any trouble keeping on track with the routine just because I wasn't in the usual spot. No, not me!

...pick out all the Macadamia nuts out of the Costco mixed nuts jar, in spite of the fact that my husband has asked me not to. I am the perfectly submissive wife, honoring my husband in both the big and the small. I would never selfishly take all the buttery, delicious Macadamias out and hoard them. I would not then feel extremely guilty and buy him his own bag of Macadamia nuts from Trader Joe's. Nope, not me!

"Not Me!" Monday

Well, it's probably about time I joined Mck Mama's little "Not Me!" Monday game.

Each Monday, she posts all the things she did not do (but really did do) and encourages us all to play along for a little amusement (and self-deprecating humor). Confused? You'll get it as you read.

This week, I did not...

...take our absentee ballots to our neighborhood voting place (the elementary school down the street) on Monday instead of Tuesday. I knew very well that the election was Tuesday and that no one would be there to collect my ballots on Monday. I was not at all embarrassed when the lady in the school office gently reminded me of the correct election day. Nope, not me!

...buy a book entitled The flat belly diet. I would never fall for any type of fad diet, knowing plain well that to lose weight I must simply eat less and exercise more. Besides, my abdomen is so ripped anyways that I would never even think of buying a book like that! Nope, not me!

...get inspired to download three Heart songs on itunes after seeing Allison Iraheta perform "Alone" on American Idol. I did not then proceed to sing along loudly to these songs in the car. I would never listen to any secular music - especially rock - nope not me!

...go to Do-It Center with Rich, fill up our cart with stuff, proceed to the checkout and then realize that neither of us had any money on us. We did not then leave our cart, go home and get money, return to the store, and then sheepishly go through the checkout again. Not me (or us)!

...eat a Krispy Kreme doughnut, a huge ice cream in a waffle cone at Disneyland, chocolate raspberry trifle, and a dozen or so of the amazing Italian cookies that one of my Shepherds' Conference guys brought. I would never eat those kinds of unhealthy, fattening things. And I would never gain weight if I did. Nope, not me!