12 years with the Lord

  
Today marks 12 years since my oldest child, Brady, went to be with the Lord.  He was diagnosed with a brain tumor at age 10 and had a four year battle before leaving this earth and his disease behind at age 14.  Though we prayed fervently that he would be cured and remain with us, God had bigger and better plans for him.  For those of you whose loved ones have gone to be with the Lord, you know the deep seated joy of knowing that they are with Christ in heaven, safe and secure for all eternity.  That is the blessing and reality that I live with daily, and it is so comforting.

James 4:14 describes our life here on earth as this:  You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  Sometimes it seems that life is long but we must remember this truth.   It will be over before we know.   Even if we live to old age, it will come before we know it.  I am thankful that today I can celebrate that I am 12 years closer to heaven and seeing Brady.  How my heart longs for that reunion.

Rich pulled up this audio this morning as we rejoiced over our son's heavenly home once again.    It is from his baptism at our church at age 13.  It was precious to once again hear his voice and remember his sweet testimony of faith.  

Below is a photo I keep on my desk.  It's one of my favorites of my boys together.  He had such sparkly blue eyes and a great laugh.  Today I remember once again my sweet boy and the mark he left on my heart.  I am so thankful God gave him to me, if only for a short time.  

Celebrating Brady's 10th anniversary in Heaven - Guest post by Rich

Last photo of Rich and Brady, New Year's Day 2004

Today is the ten year anniversary of our son Brady’s home going. I am privileged not only to guest blog for the e-Wife (my-Wife) but also to recount our son’s story and provide a bit of a summary of what his life and death has meant to us and others over the last decade.

In the early morning of January 5, 2004, our son went to be with the Lord at age 14 after succumbing to the effect of a four-year battle with medulloblastoma brain cancer. He had previously put his faith and trust in Jesus, his Lord and Savior, having also been baptized at age 13. So Heaven is now his home and where we will meet again and enjoy eternal life together, having had a life cut short here on earth.

Karen and I are privileged for the gift of God that Brady was, and accept all that happened through his illness as God’s good and perfect will. We are satisfied with all that happened. We are also privileged to have a child that has made an impact on so many people.

I’d like to start with reprinting, if you will, the text of the eulogy that I presented at Brady’s memorial held on January 12, 2004. The week leading up to that day, and the day itself, was so amazing and so precious to our family. We were so touched and blessed during that time by the huge outpouring of not only the hundreds and hundreds of people who showed up, but of their genuine love and concern. We had already been blessed all those four years by so many. That day was also for those who came to the memorial since many of them had invested a personal concern. We literally had friends fly in from across the country to be there. One such was Mark MacKenzie, a US Marine who befriended Brady as his wife was also receiving treatment at the City of Hope. Mark flew in all the way from his base in Florida to present to us an Honorary Marine Certificate for Brady. I have also carried these past ten years a card that Mark gave us stating the USMC core values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment. It has reminded me not only of Brady, but of that day, and, I must say, that it truly stands as the greatest day of my life. 

So here is the text of that day. Please see after this additional thoughts and memories of Brady and what the Lord did and continues to do through his life.

Eulogy

"A few months ago when it became fairly evident that Brady wouldn’t be with us too much longer our family began listening to our pastor’s recorded series on Heaven. Although he didn’t know it at the time, I wanted to give Brady an audio brochure of the place he would spend eternity. We didn’t quite get to finish the series but I’m sure he now knows the ending.

“I wanted to ell you a bit about my son. But before I do we wanted to extend our thanks to all who came along side of Brady and us over the years. I would like to start with Brady’s medical team at the City of Hope Hospital. His oncologist Dr. Michael Jensen, and his nurses Debbie Toomey and Karla Wilson (Nurse Practitioner) have not only provided the best care available on this planet, but have truly become family to us. Their genuine personal concern for Brady is one of our greatest blessings. Karla was extra special, and was with us the night Brady passed away helping him overcome the greatest pain he had over his four years. Brady spent many days at the City of Hope and the entire medical staff has become great friends to us. We are completely satisfied with the care we received at the City of Hope and are so grateful to the Lord that he used that facility and these people to prolong Brady’s life.

“I also wanted to say a special thanks to all of the blood and platelet donors, who, by their service, kept Brady alive. They all have a yellow ribbon on and I would like them to stand to receive the honor they are due. I know many more of you wanted to give as well. And many of you helped us in other waysm such as caring for Drew and Emma.

“Thanks also to our families and the ways they tangibly were able to meet our needs especially Karen’s parents Wanda and Steve – the only ones other than Karen trusted Brady with.

“Just by the very nature of what we were dealing with in caring for Brady there wasn’t much of a hands-on way that you all could help. But we do know that many of you prayed to our Lord. To you all I want to give an encouragement. The main reason we pray is to give God Glory. One of the marvelous guarantees Jesus gave us was, “If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.” That amazing promise had a reason, and it was not merely for the benefit of those who asked.  Rather, Jesus said it was “that the Father may be Glorified in the Son.” The reason we pray is so that God can display His glory. That is why we know we receive from Him what is best for us and what glorifies Him most. Please know that in the answers to your prayers God has shown His glory.

“We all, as a church, have just started this year a scripture memory program and the first verse of the year really speaks to Brady’s life. Psalm 103 says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord , O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems you life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;” It is truth that the Lord has blessed us in answer to your prayers regarding Brady. Look at all the benefits He gave Brady right out of this passage; forgiveness of sin when Brady placed his trust in Jesus, freedom from all sickness and death in Heaven, abundant mercy and everything he ever truly needed. If you ever prayed that Brady would be healed, please know that now he is. If you ever prayed that Brady would be comforted, please know he experienced God’s grace, mercy, and lovingkindness daily.

“In the summer of 1999 Brady began experiencing seizures in his sleep. As a part of the diagnosis for what was later determined to be partial/benign epilepsy, he underwent a routine CAT-scan. I was from this scan in November of that year that cancer was discovered in his brain completely separate from the seizures. By God’s providence we were able to begin what was to be a four-year treatment. Immediate surgery to remove the tumor was followed by over a year and a half of radiation and chemo-therapy. At the end of that time, Brady actually went into remission for about a year. However, tumors were again spotted along his spinal cord and into his brain. This began another two years of treatments that included high-dose chemotherapy and experimental intrathical chemotherapy in Washington State. He later embarked on various deferent chemotherapies and experimental drugs. The toll of all of this treatment was very hard on Brady’s body. He had part of his lung removed to treat a bout of pneumonia. In the end he became platelet and blood-transfusion dependent. His boy became too weak for any additional treatment and there were no more medical options to save his life. For some time it became very evident to us that any pain of losing Brady was overcome by the pain of seeing his body suffer more and the joy of knowing he would be with his God in heaven.

“I will say that never once did Brady complain about his trial, nor was he angry, bitter or express self-pity. He trusted in his parents and his God. He came to accept his cancer as his lot. A friend of mine said that Brady had a heart of a lion. I like that because it gives a picture of the great quality that the Lord gave Brady – that of courage. Those of you who know Brady and the trials that he went through can appreciate the definition of courage and how it describes Brady:  mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty; Courage implies firmness of mind and will in the face of danger or extreme difficulty; the synonym Mettle suggests an ingrained capacity for meeting strain or difficulty with fortitude and resilience; the synonym Spirit also suggests a quality of temperament enabling one to hold one’s own or keep up one’s morale when opposed or threatened; two more, Resolution and Tenacity stresses firm determination to achieve one’s ends and implications of stubborn persistence and unwillingness to admit defeat.

“During his struggle my boy had a strength and resiliency that is a model to me. I am proud of my son for how he handled himself through his trial.

“Well, Brady truly was wonderful to be around. He delighted us with his smarts, maturity, and incredible sense of humor. He was very independent. He had many interests in spited of his limitations. In fact he often times said he didn’t have enough time to do all he wanted. 
He was always productive and kept himself occupied. Some of his interests and favorites were:

• ·         Jeopardy. He would often time come up with the answers to the most obscure Final Jeopardy questions. I remember one time he got the answer to who was the first baby girl colonist born in America. How did he know this? Because...
• ·         He loved to read. He read everything from “Star Wars” to “Battle for the Beginning.” From the “Lord of the Rings” to the Lord of the universe. He knew a lot because he read a lot. He especially loved history, and read the Business and Sports section of the L.A. Times every day with breakfast.
• ·         He followed sports. Peyton Manning and the Colts were his favorite. And so far they haven’t been disappointing. Whenever Peyton was falling behind, Brady put on his rally Peyton Manning jersey to cheer them on. This year it’s guaranteed to be either Peyton in the Super Bowl or at least another Brady (Tom Brady the Patriots QB, that is!)
• ·         Drew and Emma loved their brother. Brady praised Emma’s homemade cookies and Drew and him spent endless times rapping about sports at bedtime in their bunks.
• ·         He liked to buy and sell on E-Bay.
• ·         He was a meticulous and studied stock picker. He once figured he’d make a huge killing on a X-dividend stock and came to me and asked for only $8,000 to invest. His uncle finally convinced him that if anything is too good to be true it probably was. But overall his account has gained 50%.
• ·         He was sustained physically with his love for, and the high caloric qualities of, In-And-Out burgers and Starbucks frappuccinos.
• ·         One of his biggest joys was his little cousins: Austin, Luke, and Vance – and he was never bothered by them even when he was feeling ill. He loved to give them what toys and candy that he could.
• ·         He also loved this church and its ministries from Cubbies to Big AWANA, to Juniors, to Student Ministries. It was a physical struggle just to get here sometimes but he was determined to do it and to be with his friends. He was especially fond of his high school Bible study. He essentially hadn’t grown since he was 10 years old yet he had no qualms of going and being among the Amazon senior girls!

“While we were watching him decline physically over time, we really watched him grow spiritually. He seemingly always told the truth and was passionate about justice. He was long-suffering and generous. He took his walk with the Lord seriously and was consistent with his person time with the Lord in prayer and meditation. He didn’t worry about his life or the future. He was what every parent should want for their child – chosen and saved by God.

“I would like to address the thought that no child or parent should have to go through what has happened. Everything we have is by God’s grace in giving us what we don’t deserve and His mercy in withholding that which we do deserve. Suffering is part of the human experience. There are no guarantees for tomorrow. But this life is not all there is. If the goal of life is to be like Christ we need to be willing to live a life like Christ who suffered unto death. The great part though is that Christ rose from the dead to Heaven, and through Him we might also live forever with Him.

“I always thought it interesting that Brady was treated at the City of Hope. In a real way God does use the acts and affairs of men to accomplish His purposes and in this way we did have hope in the care Brady was receiving would give him physical life.

“But there is another hope. It is one that is more than a wish. It is longing for with the guarantee of obtainment. My son was not perfect. As a child he was extremely stubborn and prideful. But he came to a point in his life that he realized he was just like everyone else and needed the forgiveness of sins from God through the work of Jesus on the cross. Brady’s faith and trust was in Christ alone. And his hope was in heaven to come. His hope has been fulfilled.”

Thoughts and Memories…

That day was special and largely because of the people who were there, most from Grace Community Church. I am also really grateful and thankful to my L.A. Department of Water & Power family of friends who showed up in mass. I remember Karen asking me, “Who are all these people?” Well, 10 years ago Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and CaringBridge didn’t exist. Nor did The e-Wife Blogs Again. But email did and Karen would regularly update our friends and family. I then sent those posts to folks at DWP. So they all followed along my wife’s sweet updates and when it came time they showered us with much honor.

For the memorial, in lieu of flowers, we directed donations to be made to the “Brady Harasick Memorial Fund.” Quite astonishingly to us, the fund collected more than $12,000. Karen and I decided to direct those funds to the Irpin Biblical Seminary library in Ukraine so that the brothers there would be better trained to preach and teach God’s Word. Greg White and our friends Bruce and Aimee Alvord (we lived next to Aimee’s parents for a couple of years) are missionaries serving at the Seminary. In each book that was purchased for the library, there is a note affixed that states, in part, the “money given to his memorial fund would make you greater equipped to serve the Lord, and more like the Savior whom Brady loved.” Brady’s favorite Bible verse, James 1:2-4, is also inscribed.

People often try to make sense of why seemingly bad things happen. Even when we acknowledge that it is all according to God’s divine plan, and know it all brings Him glory, He doesn’t always reveal his purposes to us. Some things we’ll only find out the why in Heaven, but sometimes he lets us in on the plan. Such as with the money collected for the Irpin Seminary. I can’t wait to find out the rest of the story of how God used those books to bring forth the salvation of his people in Ukraine and beyond.

But how God used and is still using Brady’s story doesn’t end with a far off seminary. It is not uncommon for Karen and I to still hear how people have been impacted and moved by how God worked in our family. In fact, just two weeks ago I was talking to a mom who was using Brady as a real like example to her kids of the frailty of life and the urgency of making a decision for Christ while the opportunity is still available.

Again, it’s the people that my memories are most associated with. I have a friend that has remembered Brady’s home going and birthday every year and writes to encourage me. We are still friends with Brady’s Nurse Practitioner and have fond memories of the City of Hope. Our son and daughter Drew and Emma spent countless days doing their homeschooling in that place and exploring the buildings and grounds as they accompanied Brady to his treatments. Just a couple of years ago, Emma chose to volunteer for a semester there, mostly because of her attachment to it. She was definitely able to show genuine empathy and compassion to families of patients as she hosted them around the campus because she herself was once in their position.

Most every year we’ve marked the anniversary of this date in some way. This year with this post and a lunch with our family. Most years we try to make it to The Crab Cooker in Newport which was one of Brady’s favorite restaurants. Once our front porch was built, I stenciled on Psalm 103:1-4 around the soffit. As I stated in his eulogy, this verse has special meaning to our family. Also of special meaning is the song “It Is Well With My Soul.” This song was sung by our good friends Dave and Erin Hoffman at the memorial. Years later Emma surprised us and arranged to have them sing it again when we visited them at their church in Tennessee. I had a copy of the song sheet of that song framed as an anniversary gift another year.

The memories are all good. Time allows you to make sense of it all and to grow from it. As a Christian I know that everything that happens is for my good and God’s glory. That’s the heart of progressive sanctification. I first received the news that something was critically wrong with Brady and that he had a brain tumor when Karen called from the hospital. When I got off the phone, I immediately prayed. From Pastor John’s teaching, I was confident in God’s sovereignty in what was happening, and what was to happen. I knew God was not caught off guard, but was actually orchestrating it all. I did have a fear though. It was not of Brady dying, but, for some reason, of him ending up wheelchair bound. I questioned whether I had the strength to deal with that. Over those four years Brady would experience much worse things and actually did end up unable to walk. But God was working in me and through me. My faith was tested and proven such that I continue to give Christ praise and glory.

You see, the Christian life is set apart for God. It’s not just about us. It is being brought closer to the likeness of Christ through obedience to the word of God and the empowering of the Holy Spirit. If we think our work is impossible, we face the task with fear and discouragement. As God works out his plan according to “the counsel of His will,” he energizes every believer with the power necessary for his spiritual completion. God’s glory, as evidenced by changed lives, is the supreme purpose of redemption.

Again, how does God do this? Through the Word (“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth”, John 17:17), sufferings, and trials/circumstances of life He takes up residence in us and sanctifies us.

Karen and I have had many opportunities to tell Brady’s story, and maybe more importantly God’s story of Brady. Sometimes these have been informally and sometimes to a larger audience. One was for a Grace to You Television piece on the sovereignty of God and the existence of evil where the story of Brady and our family and how we responded from a biblical perspective was interwoven with Pastor John MacArthur’s teaching on the subject. You can view it HERE. 

We also had the tremendous opportunity to be featured in the Grace Community Church “Fifty Years of Grace” anniversary video. You can view it HERE and Brady’s story is featured in the very beginning (first 40 seconds) and the end (last two minutes starting at 22:30). In conclusion to that video, Pastor John states what makes Grace Church. He says “It’s always about the Bible because it’s always about the truth contained in Scripture.” He goes on to say that people are at Grace Church because they love the truth and they live the truth. The narrative then turns to me, and to underscore how God uses his Word to sanctify us, I say, “That’s what we have as Christians. We have the Bible. That’s what sets us apart. We have the Word of God. We have God speaking to us. It changes lives. It does. It changed our lives.”

Much Grace,

Rich

Hope

I went shopping at Costco right before New Year's, and the employee at the door (job title: Costco card checker?) greeted me and handed me the latest sale flyer. As I glanced quickly at it I could see it was covered front and back with specials on alcohol. I politely declined, and walked ahead where I viewed the "hot item" display area that was now filled with gym membership offers, vitamins, and meal replacement drinks. It isn't rocket science to figure out marketing tactics for us consumers at this time of year. First, early in the season (WAY too early) we are presented with holiday food and items geared as gifts, then comes alcohol for New Year's, followed by all ways we can get rid of all the excess that they have sold to us. We're such suckers.

Well, I suppose I fall victim to that cycle as well (well, minus the alcohol). It's the new year, and I am faced with bowls of holiday candy I no longer want around, I'm gladly bidding good riddance to the Christmas tree and all the decorations, and the thought of sweets and rich foods disgusts me. I am ready to turn over to the next chapter, thankful for a fresh start. My new year goals are probably not that different than yours, from the serious to the mundane: Read more (especially the bible), exercise more (3-4 times a week at the gym), eat healthier (and less), take my vitamins regularly, whiten my teeth, simplify, love deeper and live more obediently unto Christ. Six large bags just went to the Goodwill and I've worked out three times since Jan. 2. I am motivated now, but I know that somewhere down the line, my resolve will fizzle. I will become less concerned about my resolutions. After all, I battle my lazy and unproductive flesh. I know I will be lamenting along with the apostle Paul sometime soon, "For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (Romans 7:15) If the apostle Paul saw himself that clearly, so should I.

Which brings me to the wonderful hope that someday I will be free of the struggle. Life, this life here on earth, will be over soon and I'll be in my eternal home thanks to what Christ has done for me! I have done nothing as a wretched sinner to earn this eternal reward, but Jesus' death on the cross allows God to see me as righteous and accept me into heaven! Is that not a glorious thought? Sometimes I wonder at the start of a new year, "will it be this year?" or as I'm taking the ornaments off the tree "will I be putting these on next year (or will I be in glory)?" I wonder when the time is appointed for my glorious homegoing. I know that only God knows this. Now don't get me wrong, I also agree with Paul that "to live is Christ and to die is gain." Wherever God wants me to be, I will be content and glad. I will continue to strive with hope.

I know someone who finished his earthly journey 8 years ago. My dear first born son Brady spent his last day on earth exactly 8 years ago today. January 4th, 2004 was the last day Brady had to battle sin, illness, and suffering. Early in the morning hours of January 5th, in the presence of Rich and myself, he peacefully slipped from earthly sleep to glory! He is now in his eternal home! How I rejoice! And yet how I envy him. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for Brady's homegoing, and hope for mine.

Wishing you a new year filled with HOPE!

7 years closer to that day

A friend sent me an encouraging message yesterday on the 7th anniversary of Brady's homegoing. She wrote: "Just thinking of you and remembering where we were 7 years ago, and still thinking of the impact for His Savior that your precious Brady had in his life and in his death. Reunion in heaven will be oh so sweet, and we are all 7 years closer to that day." It's hard to believe 7 years have passed since Brady left his cancer behind and entered into glory. And yes, we are 7 years closer now than we were the day Brady left us on that January 5, 2004. How that lifts my heart!

Since that day, we have continued to celebrate Brady each year on January 5th. It has become sort of a Harasick family "holiday" you might say. Rich always takes the day off, and we usually do something as a family that reminds us of Brady. It might be a visit to a restaurant he liked, or even playing a game together that he enjoyed, like Clue Master Detective. It is usually simple and nice, and whatever we choose seems to be just the right way to remember him.

This year we started off with a visit to the Nethercutt Museum in Sylmar. The Nethercutt is one family's personal collection of vintage vehicles. We had a great time perusing all the amazing cars and the train they have. The Nethercutt is a great place to visit - it's free and such a unique place. If you want the full experience, you can make a reservation for the tour, also free.

Here's the early prototype of Dr. Wizzelmo (Drew's Mercury Sable)!

This was really cool - a vintage 1936 trailer!

You could even go inside - so neat!


Early prototype for the VW Bug - a 1946 sedan designed by a man with the last name Porsche.

In the late afternoon, Stephanie joined us, and we went to Tony's Bella Vista in Burbank for dinner. Brady used to love an Italian restaurant in La Crescenta called Dominick's, but since then we have discovered Tony's and like it a lot better. Tony's is the classic Italian restaurant that's been there forever - with the red vinyl booths, cheesy decor complete with fake grapes, and real robust Italians running the place. They have amazing pizza and giant house-made cheese ravioli. We always order the same thing: a large antipasto, an XL half sausage/half pepperoni pizza, an order of spaghetti and meatballs, and an order of cheese ravioli. That way you get to take home leftovers. :-) Their pizza is my favorite in L.A.

After filling up at Tony's, we went across the street to a great little Italian deli called Pinocchio's, and picked up some gelato to go for dessert later back at the house. The rest of the evening was spent talking near the fireplace, eating that wonderful gelato, and listening to the music from Brady's memorial service (Dave & Erin Hoffman singing "It is well with my soul"; Leticia Johnson singing "Amazing Grace"; and Jubilant Sykes singing an amazing song about waking up in heaven - "Just stepping on shore".) It was a wonderful day.

My dear husband is always so sweet and thoughtful on this day. Beautiful flowers and a card were delivered the day before. They came with all their blooms still shut and burst open on the next morning. I thought that was kind of like Brady's life - a dark day before he died and then blooming in heaven that next morning.

Rich also framed a copy of our favorite hymn "It is well with my soul." I asked him where he got the music and he answered "I ripped it out of our hymnal." I thought that was cute.

He also gave the family a framed photo of our little sponsored child, Isaac, that we have through Compassion International. We chose Isaac last year because he had the same birthday as Brady. I think in a strange way, he even kind of looks like Brady.

Brady, around age 8

A Taste of Heaven

April showers bring May flowers!

I love May! For me, there is just a feeling to it. I suppose I first felt that way around my wedding time in May, 1987. Then, I felt it again when I was expecting my first child, Brady, in May, 1989. The weather is changing, everything is in bloom, and there always seemed to be something special to anticipate at that time. That feeling always comes back to me every May. I love it.

Speaking of blooms, I picked this beautiful bouquet from Emma's rose garden this morning. It's right outside her bedroom window. I once saw a gorgeous bouquet of roses in a magazine photo, and I tore out the page and saved it. When it came time to plant this area by her bedroom window, I selected tea roses in all the colors of the roses of that photo. The orange ones are 'Chris Evert', the magenta ones are 'Barbra Streisand,' the silvery-lilac ones are 'Paradise', and the creamy ivory ones are 'Whisper.' There are 7 other bushes in the garden as well, all in the same varying shades. If you want an amazing smelling rose (lemony) then go for the Barbra Streisand. There is just something so incredibly enjoyable about picking roses from your own garden. To me, roses just seem so heavenly in the way they look and smell.

And, speaking of heaven....Brady's birthday is coming up next week - on the 11th. He was born 21 years ago! Though he only lived 14 1/2 years, what an impact he had on my life. I was thinking the other day, that if I happen to live to be 75, and only 14 of those years were spent with Brady - what a small fraction of my life that actually was. But, oh, what sweet and memorable years those were, and how he touched my life and changed it forever. He is my child. I think of him every day. And I always conclude my thoughts of him rejoicing that he is in heaven. How privileged he is - I so envy him. As time goes on, and I get older, I praise God that I am getting a little closer to reuniting with Brady. The aging process does have a flip side for the Christian! We are slowly dying and creeping toward our eternity with God - what an amazing reality.

For today, these roses will just have to be my taste of heaven. Someday, my faith will become sight!

Celebrating Brady's 6th year with the Lord

It's hard to believe that Brady has been with the Lord for six years already. The time that has passed has helped the loss seem a little easier at times. But, there are still very intense moments where I really miss my boy and would do anything to hold him in my arms and touch him. But the Lord is good to constantly bring my heart to a place of deep gratitude for what He has accomplished in Brady's life. Oh, how I long for the day when we will be reunited!

As is our custom, on each January 5th we do something to celebrate his life in a special way. If you have been following my blog for awhile you may have remembered that Rich gave me a very special gift last year - a stencil of Psalm 103:1-4 for our porch soffit. Well, it has been sitting in its box for some time, so we decided to get it up in time for the anniversary this year! It is just one of those things we neglected to get around to, in the busyness of life.

Here is Rich putting it up. He did a magnificent job! He had the stencil custom made to our soffit. Each side was one big stencil. It came with a sticky back that you press into your spot and paint carefully onto with a small brush. I absolutely love the typeface Rich chose! And the words .... may they always be the most since expression of my heart.

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me bless His holy name!

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits:


Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction,

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies. Psalm 103:1-4

I shall never be able to forget how gracious the LORD was to Brady (and to all of us) when I am regluarly greeted by these words. These may not be the commandments per se, but I am glad that these awesome verses are "written on the doorframes of my house." (Deut. 6)

20 years ago today, on May 11th...

Brady at age 4

...I became the mother of a beautiful baby boy.

We named him Brady. He had big blue eyes and was one sharp little cookie.

For almost 15 years, I had the privilege and joy of taking care of him, as God loaned him to me.

Now, God is taking care of him.

Praise Jesus.

I think of him many times a day, marveling that my boy has seen our Lord and Savior face to face.

I look forward to seeing him someday...I know it won't be too long. "Life is but a vapor," the bible promises. It will be soon.

But for now, I am thanking God for this special day, May 11, to remember Brady's birth-day, which was one of the happiest days of my life.

And I am happy today, too, even though he isn't with me.

Because I know my sweet Brady is free from sin and suffering, and is safe in the arms of God. And that is the best thought of all.

Brady and Psalm 103

Brady and baby Boomer

Psalm 103: 1-4

Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

Who forgives all your iniquities;

Who heals all your diseases;

Who redeems your life from destruction;

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies.

January 5th will mark the 5-year anniversary of Brady's homegoing. On that day in 2004, the Lord graciously saw fit to end Brady's physical suffering, at age 14 1/2, after a 4-year battle with brain cancer. During his treatment time, while we watched him deteriorate physically, we watched him grow spiritually. The Lord used this trial to help Brady recognized his own sinfulness, and he embraced the Lord Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. We saw the Lord do a mighty work in his life, which is by far the greatest joy a parent can experience. We knew he was very sick but we took great comfort knowing that he was prepared to die and that his eternal life was secure. When we witnessed him take his last earthly breath, we knew that he breathed his first breath of heaven. Safely home. And we greatly rejoiced. We found great peace in Psalm 103, and used it for his memorial service.

Like I said in my my New Year's blog, time goes quickly. And for that I am actually grateful, because I want to march quickly towards heaven. Christians love life because God is the giver of it, but we also long to live in our true home, and this earth is not our true home. Jesus said in John 14:2:

In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.

We will be celebrating our son's life this Monday. We will be heading down to Newport for a meal at the Crab Cooker and a trip to Balboa Island. He loved the beach and he loved seafood, so it always seems a fitting way for our family to remember him.

One thing I have always been so thankful for in the loss of Brady is that I have Rich, who knows exactly what it feels like to lose this precious son. In God's grace, He gave me someone to share this burden with, one who feels the same pain. And Rich has recently been showering me with love on this occasion. Yesterday, a huge bouquet of fresh orchids arrived, with a sweet note with Psalm 103 on it. And then- he blew me away with this - he surprised me by ordering a special stencil of Psalm 103:1-4 that he custom designed to go around the entire soffit of our new porch. What a crowning jewel that will be to our home! Now, every time I cross the threshold, I will be reminded that God healed Brady's diseases, redeemed him, and crowned him with lovingkindness and tender mercies (and that He will do the same for me some day). What a promise! I just had to post a photo of the orchids- they are by far the most stunning flowers I have ever received. And as soon as we get the porch stenciled, I will be sure to post it!

Not the best quality photo -they are much deeper purple.

I had to just use the little point and shoot, as Emma was busy editing!

May 11th

This Sunday, May 11th, is a special day for me. Not only is it Mother’s Day, but it is my 20th Mother’s Day! Also, it is Brady’s birthday. He was born 19 years ago this Sunday, on May 11, 1989, making me a mom. For those of you having a little trouble with the math, I’ll give you a hint: Mother’s Day was May 14th the year Brady was born. That is how I am celebrating my 20th Mother’s Day - I snuck in at almost the last hour for that first one!

Here is a favorite photo of Brady – I think he was 3 years old! Our little B-man.

Sunday is also a day for me to remember my own mom, Wanda Vida, who passed away about 2 ½ years ago. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. She was very special, gave me lots of love and care, and could never, ever, be replaced in my life. I found this picture and thought I’d post it just for fun. The year is 1976. My mom is 34, I am 10, and Suzanne is 3. My mom bought us these matching dresses in Hawaii, cute huh? I hope my sister enjoys me putting this photo on the blog!

We're going down to Newport Beach after church on Sunday to spend the afternoon at the beach and eat at The Crab Cooker, which is not only a current family favorite but was one of Brady’s favorite meals as well. We all love seafood, especially if it is dipped in butter sauce, so bring it on in honor of Brady!

Brady and I in Newport in 2002

God truly blessed me by giving me such a wonderful mother and dear son. Even though the time I had with them was shorter than I would have wished, I know it is beyond what I ever deserved anyway. Because I have known and loved these two special people, my life is profoundly blessed, and the sweet memories of them live on in my heart every day.

Four Years in Heaven

I just love this photo of my sweet boy.


January 5, 2004 was the day that our dear Brady left this earth, was freed of all his earthly sickness and sin, and entered into eternal life with His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is hard to believe it has been four years since then. It is only by God's grace that we have been able to live without one who was so precious to us. Oh, how we miss him. His smile. His courage. His tenderness. And, oh, how our hearts long for that blessed day when we shall be reunited!


"O Lord, haste the day, when our faith shall be sight...."
(from my favorite hymn It is well with my soul)

Meet the Family - Brady!

Brady & Dad on January 1, 2004


Our family’s story would not be complete without telling you about our oldest son Brady. Brady was born May 11, 1989. Brady died and went to Heaven on January 5, 2004. The story of how God worked in his life and our family’s should be an encouragement to all. Karen and I are privileged for the gift of God that Brady was, and accept all that happened as God’s good and perfect will. We are satisfied with what happened. We are also privileged to have a child that’s made an impact on so many people.

We, as a family, are so happy for Brady that he is now in heaven. When it became fairly evident that Brady wouldn’t be with us too much longer, our family began listen to our pastor’s taped series on Heaven. Although he didn’t know it at the time, I wanted to give Brady an audio brochure of the place he would spend eternity. We didn’t quite get to finish the series but I’m sure he now knows the ending.

I want to tell you a bit about my son, as I said, to give an encouragement.

In the summer of 1999 Brady began experiencing seizures in his sleep. As a part of the diagnosis for what was later determined to be partial/benign epilepsy, he underwent a routine CAT-scan. It was from this scan in November of that year that cancer was discovered in his brain completely separate from the seizures. By God’s providence we were able to begin what was to be a four-year treatment. Immediate surgery to remove the tumor was followed by over a year and a half of radiation and chemotherapy. At the end of that time, Brady actually went into remission for about a year. However, tumors were again spotted along his spinal cord and into his brain. This began another two years of treatments that included high-dose chemotherapy, experimental intrathical chemotherapy in Washington, and he later embarked on various different chemotherapies and experimental drugs. The toll of all of this treatment was very hard on Brady’s body. He had part of his lung removed to treat a bout of pneumonia, and in the end became platelet and blood-transfusion dependent. His body became too weak for any additional treatment and there were no more medical options to save his life. For some time it became very evident to us that any pain of losing Brady was overcome by the pain of seeing his body suffer more and the joy of knowing he would be with his God in heaven.

Above - The kids at Walt Disney World

I will say that never once did Brady complain about his trial, nor was he angry, bitter or express self-pity. He trusted in his parents and his God. He came to accept his cancer as his lot. A friend of mine said that Brady had a heart of a lion. I like that because it gives a great picture of the great quality that the Lord gave Brady-that of courage. Those who knew Brady and the trials that he went through can appreciate the definition of courage and how it describes Brady:

Courage: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. Some of the synonyms mean mental or moral strength to resist opposition, danger, or hardship; firmness of mind and will in the face of danger or extreme difficulty; an ingrained capacity for meeting strain or difficulty with fortitude and resilience; temperament enabling one to hold one's own or keep up one's morale when opposed or threatened; firm determination to achieve one's ends, and; implications of stubborn persistence and unwillingness to admit defeat.

During his struggle my boy had a strength and resiliency that is a model to me. I am proud of my son for how he handled himself through his trial.

Brady truly was wonderful to be around. He delighted us with his smarts, maturity, and incredible sense of humor. He was very independent. He had many interests in spite of his limitations. If fact he often times said he didn’t have enough time to do all he wanted. He was always productive and kept himself occupied. Some of his interests and favorites were:

Jeopardy. He would often times come up with the answers to the most obscure Final Jeopardy questions. I remember one time he got the answer to who was the first baby girl colonist born in America. How did he know this? Because, he loved to read. He read everything from “Star Wars” to the The Battle for the Beginning. From the “Lord of the Rings” to books about the Lord of the universe. He knew a lot because he read a lot.

He especially loved history, and read the Business and Sports sections of the L.A. Times everyday with breakfast. He followed sports. Peyton Manning and the Colts were his favorite. Whenever Peyton was falling behind, Brady would put on his rally Peyton Manning jersey to cheer them on.

Drew and Emma loved their brother. Brady praised Emma’s homemade cookies and Drew and him spent endless times rapping sports at bed-time in their bunks.

He liked to buy and sell on ebay.

He was a meticulous and studied stock picker. He once figured he’d make a huge killing on an X-dividend stock and came to me and asked for only $8K to invest. His uncle finally convinced him that if anything sounded too good to be true it probably was. But overall his account gained 50%.

He was sustained physically with his love for, and the high caloric qualities of In-n-Out burgers and Starbucks Frappuccinos.

One of his biggest joys was his little cousins: Austin, Luke and Vance - and he was never bothered by them even when he was feeling ill. He loved to give them what toys and candy that he could.

He also loved Grace Community Churchand its ministries from cubbies, to Big AWANA, to Juniors, to Student Ministries. It was a physical struggle just to get here sometimes but he was determined to do it. He was especially fond of his high school bible study. He essentially hadn’t grown since he was 10 years old yet he had no qualms of going and being among the Amazon senior girls!

While we were watching him decline physically over time, we really watched him grow spiritually. He seemingly always told the truth and was passionate about justice. He was long-suffering and generous. He took his walk with the Lord seriously and was consistent with his personal time with the Lord in prayer and meditation. He didn’t worry about his life or the future. He was what every parent should want for their child - chosen and saved by God.

I would like to address the thought that no child or parent should have to go through this. Everything we have is by God’s grace in giving us what we don’t deserve and His mercy in withholding that which we do deserve. There are no guarantees for tomorrow. We do need to redeem the time we’ve got. But this life is not all there is. Suffering is part of the human experience. If the goal of life is to be like Christ we need to be willing to live a life like Christ who suffered unto death. The great part though that as Christ rose from the dead to Heaven, and through Him we might also live forever with Him.

I always thought it interesting that Brady was treated at the City of Hope. In a real way God does use the acts and affairs of men to accomplish His purposes and in this way we did have hope in the care Brady was receiving would give him physical life.

But there is another hope. It is one that is more than a wish. It is longing for with the guarantee of obtainment. My son was not perfect. As a child he was extremely stubborn and prideful. But he came to a point in his life that he realized he was just like everyone else and needed the forgiveness of sins from God through the work of Jesus on the cross. Brady’s faith and trust was in God. And his hope was in heaven to come. His hope has been fulfilled.


We were so blessed that many people prayed for Brady and for us. People we know and many more that we never knew. The main reason we pray is to give God glory. One of the marvelous guarantees Jesus gave us was, “If you ask anything in my name, I will do it”. That amazing promise had a reason, and it was not merely for the benefit of those who asked. Rather, Jesus said it was “that the father may be glorified in the Son”. The reason we pray is so that God can display His glory. That is why we know we receive form Him what is best for us and what glorifies him most. We know that in the answers to all those who prayed for Brady over the time of his illness God showed His glory.

Psalm 103 says,
“Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgives all you iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies.”

It is truth that the Lord blessed us in answer to prayers regarding Brady. Look at all the benefits he gave Brady right out of this passage: forgiveness of sin when Brady placed his trust in Jesus, freedom from all sickness and death in heaven, abundant mercy and everything he ever truly needed. If anyone ever prayed that Brady would be healed-please know that now he is. If anyone ever prayed that Brady would be comforted-please know he experienced God’s grace, mercy, and lovingkindeness daily.