Last photo of Rich and Brady, New Year's Day 2004
Today is the ten year anniversary of our son Brady’s home
going. I am privileged not only to guest blog for the e-Wife (my-Wife) but also
to recount our son’s story and provide a bit of a summary of what his life and
death has meant to us and others over the last decade.
In the early morning of January 5, 2004, our son went to be
with the Lord at age 14 after succumbing to the effect of a four-year battle
with medulloblastoma brain cancer. He had previously put his faith and trust in
Jesus, his Lord and Savior, having also been baptized at age 13. So Heaven is now
his home and where we will meet again and enjoy eternal life together, having
had a life cut short here on earth.
Karen and I are privileged for the gift of God that Brady
was, and accept all that happened through his illness as God’s good and perfect
will. We are satisfied with all that happened. We are also privileged to have a
child that has made an impact on so many people.
I’d like to start with reprinting, if you will, the text of
the eulogy that I presented at Brady’s memorial held on January 12, 2004. The
week leading up to that day, and the day itself, was so amazing and so precious
to our family. We were so touched and blessed during that time by the huge
outpouring of not only the hundreds and hundreds of people who showed up, but
of their genuine love and concern. We had already been blessed all those four
years by so many. That day was also for those who came to the memorial since
many of them had invested a personal concern. We literally had friends fly in
from across the country to be there. One such was Mark MacKenzie, a US Marine
who befriended Brady as his wife was also receiving treatment at the City of
Hope. Mark flew in all the way from his base in Florida to present to us an
Honorary Marine Certificate for Brady. I have also carried these past ten years
a card that Mark gave us stating the USMC core values of Honor, Courage, and
Commitment. It has reminded me not only of Brady, but of that day, and, I must
say, that it truly stands as the greatest day of my life.
So here is the text of that day. Please see after this
additional thoughts and memories of Brady and what the Lord did and continues
to do through his life.
Eulogy
"A few months ago when it became fairly evident that
Brady wouldn’t be with us too much longer our family began listening to our
pastor’s recorded series on Heaven. Although he didn’t know it at the time, I
wanted to give Brady an audio brochure of the place he would spend eternity. We
didn’t quite get to finish the series but I’m sure he now knows the ending.
“I wanted to ell you a bit about my son. But before I do
we wanted to extend our thanks to all who came along side of Brady and us over
the years. I would like to start with Brady’s medical team at the City of Hope
Hospital. His oncologist Dr. Michael Jensen, and his nurses Debbie Toomey and
Karla Wilson (Nurse Practitioner) have not only provided the best care
available on this planet, but have truly become family to us. Their genuine personal
concern for Brady is one of our greatest blessings. Karla was extra special,
and was with us the night Brady passed away helping him overcome the greatest
pain he had over his four years. Brady spent many days at the City of Hope and
the entire medical staff has become great friends to us. We are completely
satisfied with the care we received at the City of Hope and are so grateful to
the Lord that he used that facility and these people to prolong Brady’s life.
“I also wanted to say a special thanks to all of the
blood and platelet donors, who, by their service, kept Brady alive. They all
have a yellow ribbon on and I would like them to stand to receive the honor
they are due. I know many more of you wanted to give as well. And many of you
helped us in other waysm such as caring for Drew and Emma.
“Thanks also to our families and the ways they tangibly
were able to meet our needs especially Karen’s parents Wanda and Steve – the
only ones other than Karen trusted Brady with.
“Just by the very nature of what we were dealing with in
caring for Brady there wasn’t much of a hands-on way that you all could help.
But we do know that many of you prayed to our Lord. To you all I want to give
an encouragement. The main reason we pray is to give God Glory. One of the
marvelous guarantees Jesus gave us was, “If you ask anything in my name, I will
do it.” That amazing promise had a reason, and it was not merely for the
benefit of those who asked. Rather,
Jesus said it was “that the Father may be Glorified in the Son.” The reason we pray
is so that God can display His glory. That is why we know we receive from Him what
is best for us and what glorifies Him most. Please know that in the answers to
your prayers God has shown His glory.
“We all, as a church, have just started this year a
scripture memory program and the first verse of the year really speaks to
Brady’s life. Psalm 103 says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is
within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord , O my soul, and forget not all
His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who
redeems you life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and
compassion;” It is truth that the Lord has blessed us in answer to your prayers
regarding Brady. Look at all the benefits He gave Brady right out of this
passage; forgiveness of sin when Brady placed his trust in Jesus, freedom from
all sickness and death in Heaven, abundant mercy and everything he ever truly
needed. If you ever prayed that Brady would be healed, please know that now he
is. If you ever prayed that Brady would be comforted, please know he
experienced God’s grace, mercy, and lovingkindness daily.
“In the summer of 1999 Brady began experiencing seizures
in his sleep. As a part of the diagnosis for what was later determined to be
partial/benign epilepsy, he underwent a routine CAT-scan. I was from this scan
in November of that year that cancer was discovered in his brain completely
separate from the seizures. By God’s providence we were able to begin what was
to be a four-year treatment. Immediate surgery to remove the tumor was followed
by over a year and a half of radiation and chemo-therapy. At the end of that
time, Brady actually went into remission for about a year. However, tumors were
again spotted along his spinal cord and into his brain. This began another two
years of treatments that included high-dose chemotherapy and experimental
intrathical chemotherapy in Washington State. He later embarked on various
deferent chemotherapies and experimental drugs. The toll of all of this
treatment was very hard on Brady’s body. He had part of his lung removed to
treat a bout of pneumonia. In the end he became platelet and blood-transfusion
dependent. His boy became too weak for any additional treatment and there were
no more medical options to save his life. For some time it became very evident
to us that any pain of losing Brady was overcome by the pain of seeing his body
suffer more and the joy of knowing he would be with his God in heaven.
“I will say that never once did Brady complain about his
trial, nor was he angry, bitter or express self-pity. He trusted in his parents
and his God. He came to accept his cancer as his lot. A friend of mine said
that Brady had a heart of a lion. I like that because it gives a picture of the
great quality that the Lord gave Brady – that of courage. Those of you who know
Brady and the trials that he went through can appreciate the definition of
courage and how it describes Brady:
mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger,
fear, or difficulty; Courage implies firmness of mind and will in the face of
danger or extreme difficulty; the synonym Mettle suggests an ingrained capacity
for meeting strain or difficulty with fortitude and resilience; the synonym
Spirit also suggests a quality of temperament enabling one to hold one’s own or
keep up one’s morale when opposed or threatened; two more, Resolution and
Tenacity stresses firm determination to achieve one’s ends and implications of
stubborn persistence and unwillingness to admit defeat.
“During his struggle my boy had a strength and resiliency
that is a model to me. I am proud of my son for how he handled himself through
his trial.
“Well, Brady truly was wonderful to be around. He
delighted us with his smarts, maturity, and incredible sense of humor. He was
very independent. He had many interests in spited of his limitations. In fact
he often times said he didn’t have enough time to do all he wanted.
He was
always productive and kept himself occupied. Some of his interests and
favorites were:
- ·
Jeopardy. He would often time come up with the answers to the most
obscure Final Jeopardy questions. I remember one time he got the answer to who
was the first baby girl colonist born in America. How did he know this?
Because...
- ·
He loved to read. He read everything from “Star Wars” to “Battle for the
Beginning.” From the “Lord of the Rings” to the Lord of the universe. He knew a
lot because he read a lot. He especially loved history, and read the Business
and Sports section of the L.A. Times every day with breakfast.
- ·
He followed sports. Peyton Manning and the Colts were his favorite. And
so far they haven’t been disappointing. Whenever Peyton was falling behind,
Brady put on his rally Peyton Manning jersey to cheer them on. This year it’s
guaranteed to be either Peyton in the Super Bowl or at least another Brady (Tom
Brady the Patriots QB, that is!)
- ·
Drew and Emma loved their brother. Brady praised Emma’s homemade
cookies and Drew and him spent endless times rapping about sports at bedtime in
their bunks.
- ·
He liked to buy and sell on E-Bay.
- ·
He was a meticulous and studied stock picker. He once figured he’d make a
huge killing on a X-dividend stock and came to me and asked for only $8,000 to
invest. His uncle finally convinced him that if anything is too good to be true
it probably was. But overall his account has gained 50%.
- ·
He was sustained physically with his love for, and the high caloric
qualities of, In-And-Out burgers and Starbucks frappuccinos.
- ·
One of his biggest joys was his little cousins: Austin, Luke, and Vance
– and he was never bothered by them even when he was feeling ill. He loved to
give them what toys and candy that he could.
- ·
He also loved this church and its ministries from Cubbies to Big AWANA,
to Juniors, to Student Ministries. It was a physical struggle just to get here sometimes
but he was determined to do it and to be with his friends. He was especially
fond of his high school Bible study. He essentially hadn’t grown since he was
10 years old yet he had no qualms of going and being among the Amazon senior
girls!
“While we were watching him decline physically over time,
we really watched him grow spiritually. He seemingly always told the truth and
was passionate about justice. He was long-suffering and generous. He took his
walk with the Lord seriously and was consistent with his person time with the
Lord in prayer and meditation. He didn’t worry about his life or the future. He
was what every parent should want for their child – chosen and saved by God.
“I would like to address the thought that no child or
parent should have to go through what has happened. Everything we have is by
God’s grace in giving us what we don’t deserve and His mercy in withholding
that which we do deserve. Suffering is part of the human experience. There are
no guarantees for tomorrow. But this life is not all there is. If the goal of
life is to be like Christ we need to be willing to live a life like Christ who
suffered unto death. The great part though is that Christ rose from the dead to
Heaven, and through Him we might also live forever with Him.
“I always thought it interesting that Brady was treated
at the City of Hope. In a real way God does use the acts and affairs of men to
accomplish His purposes and in this way we did have hope in the care Brady was
receiving would give him physical life.
“But there is another hope. It is one that is more than a
wish. It is longing for with the guarantee of obtainment. My son was not
perfect. As a child he was extremely stubborn and prideful. But he came to a
point in his life that he realized he was just like everyone else and needed
the forgiveness of sins from God through the work of Jesus on the cross.
Brady’s faith and trust was in Christ alone. And his hope was in heaven to
come. His hope has been fulfilled.”
Thoughts and Memories…
That day was special and largely because of the people who
were there, most from Grace Community Church. I am also really grateful and
thankful to my L.A. Department of Water & Power family of friends who
showed up in mass. I remember Karen asking me, “Who are all these people?” Well,
10 years ago Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and CaringBridge didn’t exist. Nor
did The e-Wife Blogs Again. But email did and Karen would regularly update our
friends and family. I then sent those posts to folks at DWP. So they all
followed along my wife’s sweet updates and when it came time they showered us
with much honor.
For the memorial, in lieu of flowers, we directed donations
to be made to the “Brady Harasick Memorial Fund.” Quite astonishingly to us,
the fund collected more than $12,000. Karen and I decided to direct those funds
to the Irpin Biblical Seminary library in Ukraine so that the brothers there would
be better trained to preach and teach God’s Word. Greg White and our friends
Bruce and Aimee Alvord (we lived next to Aimee’s parents for a couple of years)
are missionaries serving at the Seminary. In each book that was purchased for
the library, there is a note affixed that states, in part, the “money given to
his memorial fund would make you greater equipped to serve the Lord, and more
like the Savior whom Brady loved.” Brady’s favorite Bible verse, James 1:2-4,
is also inscribed.
People often try to make sense of why seemingly bad things
happen. Even when we acknowledge that it is all according to God’s divine plan,
and know it all brings Him glory, He doesn’t always reveal his purposes to us.
Some things we’ll only find out the why in Heaven, but sometimes he lets us in
on the plan. Such as with the money collected for the Irpin Seminary. I can’t
wait to find out the rest of the story of how God used those books to bring
forth the salvation of his people in Ukraine and beyond.
But how God used and is still using Brady’s story doesn’t
end with a far off seminary. It is not uncommon for Karen and I to still hear
how people have been impacted and moved by how God worked in our family. In
fact, just two weeks ago I was talking to a mom who was using Brady as a real
like example to her kids of the frailty of life and the urgency of making a
decision for Christ while the opportunity is still available.
Again, it’s the people that my memories are most associated
with. I have a friend that has remembered Brady’s home going and birthday every
year and writes to encourage me. We are still friends with Brady’s Nurse
Practitioner and have fond memories of the City of Hope. Our son and daughter
Drew and Emma spent countless days doing their homeschooling in that place and
exploring the buildings and grounds as they accompanied Brady to his
treatments. Just a couple of years ago, Emma chose to volunteer for a semester
there, mostly because of her attachment to it. She was definitely able to show
genuine empathy and compassion to families of patients as she hosted them
around the campus because she herself was once in their position.
Most every year we’ve marked the anniversary of this date in
some way. This year with this post and a lunch with our family. Most years we
try to make it to The Crab Cooker in Newport which was one of Brady’s favorite
restaurants. Once our front porch was built, I stenciled on Psalm 103:1-4
around the soffit. As I stated in his eulogy, this verse has special meaning to
our family. Also of special meaning is the song “It Is Well With My Soul.” This
song was sung by our good friends Dave and Erin Hoffman at the memorial. Years
later Emma surprised us and arranged to have them sing it again when we visited
them at their church in Tennessee. I had a copy of the song sheet of that song
framed as an anniversary gift another year.
The memories are all good. Time allows you to make sense of
it all and to grow from it. As a Christian I know that everything that happens
is for my good and God’s glory. That’s the heart of progressive sanctification.
I first received the news that something was critically wrong with Brady and that
he had a brain tumor when Karen called from the hospital. When I got off the
phone, I immediately prayed. From Pastor John’s teaching, I was confident in
God’s sovereignty in what was happening, and what was to happen. I knew God was
not caught off guard, but was actually orchestrating it all. I did have a fear
though. It was not of Brady dying, but, for some reason, of him ending up
wheelchair bound. I questioned whether I had the strength to deal with that.
Over those four years Brady would experience much worse things and actually did
end up unable to walk. But God was working in me and through me. My faith was tested
and proven such that I continue to give Christ praise and glory.
You see, the Christian life is set apart for God. It’s not
just about us. It is being brought closer to the likeness of Christ through obedience
to the word of God and the empowering of the Holy Spirit. If we think our work
is impossible, we face the task with fear and discouragement. As God works out
his plan according to “the counsel of His will,” he energizes every believer
with the power necessary for his spiritual completion. God’s glory, as evidenced by
changed lives, is the supreme purpose of redemption.
Again, how does God do this? Through the Word (“Sanctify them
in the truth; your word is truth”, John 17:17), sufferings, and trials/circumstances
of life He takes up residence in us and sanctifies us.
Karen and I have had many opportunities to tell Brady’s
story, and maybe more importantly God’s story of Brady. Sometimes these have
been informally and sometimes to a larger audience. One was for a Grace to You Television
piece on the sovereignty of God and the existence of evil where the story of
Brady and our family and how we responded from a biblical perspective was
interwoven with Pastor John MacArthur’s teaching on the subject. You can view
it
HERE.
We also had the tremendous opportunity to be featured in the
Grace Community Church “Fifty Years of Grace” anniversary video. You can view
it
HERE
and Brady’s story is featured in the very beginning (first 40 seconds) and the
end (last two minutes starting at 22:30). In conclusion to that video, Pastor
John states what makes Grace Church. He says “It’s always about the Bible
because it’s always about the truth contained in Scripture.” He goes on to say that
people are at Grace Church because they love the truth and they live the truth.
The narrative then turns to me, and to underscore how God uses his Word to
sanctify us, I say, “That’s what we have as Christians. We have the Bible.
That’s what sets us apart. We have the Word of God. We have God speaking to us.
It changes lives. It does. It changed our lives.”
Much Grace,
Rich
